Lose Weight AND Enjoy The Holidays!??! The December Holiday Challenge

I know - you're thinking I must be crazy right? Well *I* think it can be done. Why wait until January 1st (or come on lets face it - the 2nd or 3rd by the time you get around to it- or the 27th in my case) to get in shape? Why make it a New Years Resolution? I never make New Years Resolutions...why? Because I never stick to them and they're expected of you...everyone makes them! Break the mould and get the jump on a few pounds BEFORE January 1st! If you're already on the path to a healthier you then come January you won't need the added pressure of a New Years Resolution hanging over your head. This is how I propose you do it (and still enjoy the Holidays!)

Let's start with the food. I know the holidays revolve around food and parties and drinks and food and drinks and food and...well you get the picture. So yes you are going to be faced with endless amounts of tasty treats. The thing is, you won't be at a party or event every single day. So when you are at home, at work - essentially any time you are not at a holiday function - eat smart. Eat clean. Make sure you start every day with a healthy breakfast within an hour of waking. If you are not a breakfast person I highly suggest you become one as breaking the fast in the morning kickstarts your metabolism and gets you going for the day. If you don't have breakfast your body is still in "starvation mode" and essentially storing fat cells for survival. If you don't have time to make your breakfast and sit down and eat in the morning try making something the night before (like a mug of overnight oats),  a warm dish of slow cooker oatmeal, or a pre-prepped breakfast smoothie. You can also make these egg muffins ahead of time and keep in the fridge for up to a week or you can freeze them and thaw overnight. There are lots of clean, healthy and TASTY options for those of you who are short on time in the mornings. By now you should know how I feel about prepping your food for the week, so make sure you are thinking ahead and making yourself small meals to stay on track for day of the week. By keeping up with a regimented eating schedule (every 2-3 hours) you will be less likely to go for the snack machine or over-indulge if those Christmas treats make their way into the workplace.   Last week we were treated to a delicious lunch at work, but I still brought my own and ate that first before I even entered the luncheon. I was still able to sit and enjoy some of the offerings with my coworkers knowing that I was staying on track.  One thing I don't suggest is not eating all day because you know you are going to a function that night where you know there will be a ton of food or a big dinner. Again - it comes down to your metabolism - and if you keep the motor running it will help to burn off those extra calories more efficiently. And make sure you are drinking lots of water. Keep up with it all day. Set a reminder on your phone or computer if you're not in the habit.

If I know I am going to a big dinner, I always try to have a protein shake, or some greek yogurt,  before I leave. This way I won't be as tempted to fill up on bread or appetizers before the main meal is served. I make sure I take advantage of the salad course and scale back on the higher calorie sides. At parties, go for the veggie and fruit trays before the sugary, gooey, creamy, fluffy, chocolatey, melty treats.  Notice I said "before" the treats. You have eaten clean all week, you have made smart food decisions, you have planned diligently and prepped all your food, you have been committed to your weekly workout (see below) you have ultimately primed your body to effectively deal with a few extra calories. So have that gingerbread cookie, or a couple nanaimo bars, or that slice of fruit cake (I know - there is a stigma against it but my inlaws make *amazing* fruitcake). Indulge the craving but don't overdo it. I have noticed that since I started eating clean whole foods taste so much better than the processed ones and this is particularly true with sugary treats. I should also state that once you start eating clean the body reacts differently when you reintroduce greasy fatty foods - I always think "do I want to enjoy my evening or suffer the belly pain and bloating (or spend my night in the bathroom)" and this helps stay on track too. This is typically a lesson everyone needs to experience on their own but without fail every person I have talked to who has started eating clean has regaled me with a story about regretting that slice of pizza or the side of fries because of how their body reacted afterwards.

Ok so for the booze....unless you're planning on cutting out all together this is kind of a hard one. If you have been eating clean all week that also means that you have stayed away from the alcohol (yep its a clean eating no-no) so you may choose to have a few holiday cocktails but there are things you can do to lessen the caloric footprint (did I just coin a phrase? Probably not) If you are a white wine drinker - try a spritzer (half wine half club soda). If you are a red wine drinker, sorry - I got nothin'. I suppose you could try a spritzer but ew - I think reds are too full-bodied to be watered down. Stay away from the wine and vodka coolers, and the creamy mudslides etc. They are loaded with sugar. If beer is your thing, low carb/low cal beers are available. If you like hard liquor try on the rocks, neat or with club soda. Diet sodas are just as bad for you as regular soda and actually transport the alcohol to your blood stream faster so I would stay away from those altogether. Alternate between water and your alcoholic beverage (so you're drinking less alcohol, and lessening the effects of dehydration and thusly the effects of a hangover the next morning) Most importantly, if you choose to drink, please do not drive! Have a designated driver, or make sure you have cab fare handy. 

The last part of the equation is the exercise. Here are 50 body weight exercises you can do at home so you don't need to join a gym. This site has them broken down to full body (which I would suggest doing 3 times a week i.e mon/wed/fri) and by body part which I would split into 5-6 times a week (arms one day, legs the next, back, chest,abs etc). Choose 4-5 of the exercises and do 8-15 reps of each in 3-4 sets. This will be a pretty decent workout. On your off days from the full body workout, or your off days and the ab day for the split, do 20-45 minutes of active rest (a walk, hike, some yoga, dancing in the kitchen, sledding or ice skating with the kids - whatever keeps you moving).

Between the clean eating and the exercise, you are setting up a great foundation to be able to battle the holiday bulge, and get ahead on making 2014 your healthiest and fittest year yet! If you stay committed through the week, and make smart eating decisions, the parties and holiday festivities should not derail your efforts and you can avoid the holiday weight gain!  So faithful readers - this is your December Challenge. I put it to you to meet it head on and wish you not only the best in this, but the Happiest of Holidays and the Merriest of Christmases.

Trust the Process

These past couple weeks have been...stressful. Changes at work, some silly unwarranted drama in the emotional department, financial adjustments...just one of those 'when it rains it pours' times. To be honest though the rain is more like a foggy drizzle than a downpour so really I still have it pretty good. It's just these little blips that every once in a while remind you that things can change in a heartbeat, you need to be prepared for anything, and you need to learn how to roll with the punches (one of my specialties if I do say so myself). Every time we are handed a blip, we need to take something from it. I believe I've mentioned before that we can't control life, just how we react to it, and these past few weeks have been a good lesson in how I react. This isn't to say I wasn't maybe cranky with people who didn't deserve it, or didn't possibly maybe have a day where perhaps there may or may not have been some tears and a little bit of feeling sorry for myself...but I didn't dwell on the negative and I put my positive thinking to action and made it through what would have once dropped me to my knees in a long drawn out poor-me kind of funk. I can use these changes to help steer my life in the direction I want my life to go. I can embrace the opportunity to make changes where changes are needed. I have learned a little more about what I want, and more importantly what I don't want, from the people I surround myself with.  I will continue to try to better my situation on every level and maybe I am late to the race but I am making strides in getting things on track and being a happy well-adjusted adult. There is a quote that gets thrown around a lot with people who are undergoing transformations/bodybuilding/life in general - TRUST THE PROCESS - and not just the process I have put in place for myself but what the universe has thrown my way ... Learning to trust myself and my abilities to cope with life in general has been an eye opener and a constant project. This past week especially has been a constant inner monologue of turning negative thinking into the positive and making sure I have kept my head above the things trying to bring me down.  I am nowhere near where I want to be, or the person I want to become but I honestly feel that I am a step closer to being that person having accepted the challenges of my latest blip. So - now that I have restored some of the order to my inner-self, it's time to take care of my environment which has suffered some. In other words the state of my house is a complete reflection of the state of my head - and heart - as of late, and needs some order-restoring of its own.  In other - other words it just means I need to clean the house ... enjoy your weekend folks, and whatever path you may be on, Trust the Process.

From The Girl Who Couldn't...: rolling with the punches...

From The Girl Who Couldn't...: rolling with the punches...: It has been a very ... different ... few weeks. I apologize for not keeping up with the blog but life has a way of reminding you who's i...

rolling with the punches...

It has been a very ... different ... few weeks. I apologize for not keeping up with the blog but life has a way of reminding you who's in charge (and if you think it's you - guess again....the only thing you control is how you react to what's thrown at you)  I can't blame it all on life though, I am responsible in part due to laziness and not making the time. No excuses - I have been a bad blogger. So here I sit on a rainy Saturday evening in front of my computer, partially snuggled into the couch in sweats and an afghan and if I had to think about it, regardless of the changes in the last few weeks and the stress, life is pretty darned great. WHY?? Because I choose to see things in that light.  We have a roof over our head, clothes on our backs, a nice car to drive, food in the fridge, and I have a job to go to everyday. My job can be stressful. But I love it. I have worked in some form of customer service since I was a teenager and I honestly believe it is my strength. "But I thought you worked in the home healthcare industry" you say? I do - but what we do as coordinators ultimately boils down to customer service; the same principles apply. And those principles should be practiced on everyone that we deal with in our day - from our PSW's and nurses,(who are some amazing people by the way) to our clients, to our co-workers and colleagues. Not one of us can do our job without any of the aforementioned people. Now, I haven't been an active coordinator in just about a year - I have been working in the intake department (which has some coordination but not primarily so)  It was a good switch at the time, as I really needed to escape some of the negativity on the floor that some people were putting into the universe, and gave me some much needed motivation to shed some of my own negative skin. I believe I did ok in the intake role, but I was missing that customer service connection that I really dig. Well, in the past couple of weeks I was offered an opportunity to become a Team Lead - a position we haven't had before and one that hasn't yet been clearly or entirely defined. But I am jumping at the chance!! Who knows what this opportunity could bring, and  I have always been one to roll with the punches. I am looking forward to interacting with people again, I am looking forward to the challenges and the changes, and being involved. I am looking forward to helping develop the role as needed and am grateful that I still have a job.  I have never been one to stay somewhere that I didn't feel I was appreciated or where I felt stagnated, and luckily I have been offered opportunities that alleviate these issues. So while the last few weeks have been a big switch-up with a lot thrown at me at once, I am ready for whatever these changes will bring! This whole year has been one big ball of change for me and I have embraced every minute of it. THIS is the life we lead now - not the one we had in the past or the one we think we want in the future. What we do TODAY will determine what happens tomorrow. So embrace it - every second - the good and the bad. Learn from what you can, forgive what you need to, and move on. Like I said at the beginning up there, we don't control life - we can only control how we react to it - and the people in it. So react well people...

Giving Thanks

I have spent much of the past week in my head...my birthday being this past Saturday I was battling past demons and feeling sorry for myself that I had no one "special" to spend it with, that because I don't drink anymore that I was some sort of birthday pariah because I had no particular "birthday plans" and I was sort of dreading my birthday weekend. In retrospect, I think it was a part of my transformation that I had to endure. As I've mentioned before, it's not all physical. There is a great deal of emotional upheaval going on as well, my insides are changing as dramatically as my outsides. I could not be more wrong that I didn't have anyone special to spend my day with...Friday at work I was celebrated by my colleagues, and friday night was spent in the company of a good friend watching movies and just ... being ... as we like to call it. Saturday morning I woke up to an absolutely gorgeous morning and had good session at the gym, and a day spent with my daughter and my sister. M and I joined my folks for dinner and then spent the evening watching a movie together. Sunday was spent in the company of my second family, and today I have had some quality alone time, and will spend the rest of another gorgeous fall day enjoying the scenery that the Niagara Region has to offer, as well as yet another Thanksgiving Dinner, this time with my parents and my brother. I have spent the entire weekend with the most wonderfully giving and supportive and loving people I could ever ask for. They are beyond special and I have not for one moment felt like I have been lacking anything. I have been blessed with a second family who treat us like their own, and am lucky that there is no awkwardness in regards to the relationship between Meaghan, her dad, his girlfriend and I. We are truly one big happy family and Jamie is as much a part of it as Meaghan. My own family - I would have to devote an entire new blog to how amazing they are. This weekend has taught me that I am truly on the right path and once I got past the hurdles in my head I was able to truly enjoy the passing of another year, and cannot wait to see what the next brings. I have been blessed by many birthday wishes, and some very heartfelt messages that I will take with me on my journey. I am thankful for the things that I am learning that I am capable of - the changes I have gone through both physically and emotionally and the changes that I will continue to experience. I am thankful for the opportunities and adventures I have been able to have with my kids, and that they are kind, generous, charming, happy, smart and funny. We all have many things to be thankful for, and I hope that your list is diverse and easy to write. Happy Thanksgiving.

Embrace the Cookie

Well, I saw my first Christmas decorations in a store yesterday, and Christmas Carols have been played on the radio. (btw commercialism - an earlier start to the christmas season does not entice  me to spend more or get more in the holiday spirit so knock it off and let me enjoy my Halloween season unencumbered, kthanks) Thanksgiving (for us Canadians) is next weekend - along with *someones* birthday - and this for me is the kick off of  what I like to call Food Season. In the past my birthday and both of our thanksgiving dinners (one with my folks and one with the outlaws) were a cause to pretty much eat and drink as much as I could without throwing up (or sometimes with...depending on who I spending my birthday celebrations with - yeah TMI - sorry)  The last time I tried to lose weight, I made it through the first half of Food Season relatively ok (but by no means acceptable to my goals) but I fell off the wagon hard at Christmas. I am feeling very confident in this new lifestyle that I will make it through the Holidays with no issue whatsoever. My mental game is at an all-time high, which is a huge portion of the battle, and I am learning and growing comfortable with the fact that I can allow myself *some* wiggle room with food, as long as I maintain my goals. Now - that doesn't give me the excuse to stuff my face for one day, or indulge in a piece of cake or a drink...I know that some things will just make me feel nasty no matter how tasty it is going down. I know there are very different takes on "cheat" meals and allowing oneself a "day off" or  a meal or whatever but these are my own personal decisions. You do what you want to do, and I will do what I want to do and we will all be happy with the decisions we've made and that's what this is really all about - being happy with the decisions we make in life. If I eat a cookie lets say...I am going to eat it because I have chosen to eat that cookie, and I will not feel guilty about eating that cookie because it was a conscious decision to eat it. I have embraced the cookie. I ate the heck out of that cookie and felt good about it. I will not eat the cookie and then say "ugh i shouldn't have eaten that cookie...i feel so guilty for eating that cookie.."  and then reach for another cookie because hey - I've already failed myself so what the hell...That is a food fail. When we incorporate conscious thinking into the decisions we make - especially where food or other vices are concerned - we have the ability to become masters of our own domains (Seinfeld reference anyone? haha - offtopic)  Instead of reaching automatically for the bag of cookies, weigh out whether or not you really want one, think about why you want one and if its because dammit you just really want that cookie then have one but don't beat yourself up over it afterwards, and definitely don't use it for a jumping off point of absolute gluttony. You can't say "I want to lose weight" and not change the way you look at food and exercise. So by implementing a new way of thinking, and prioritizing your food goals, and by exercising conscious decision making in the kitchen you can actually set yourself up for absolute success with your weightloss, without having to "cheat".  Let's face it, the guilt associated with eating leads us to feel worse about what we are doing, and in turn, usually leads us to eat more (emotional eating anyone??) So if we remove the guilt by making - say it with me now - CONSCIOUS DECISIONS about what we are eating, we are already on the road to a better lifestyle. We do so much without thinking why we do it - we just follow along. When I started to think about what I was doing, and how I was letting people make me feel, everything started to change. It's definitely not easy but when you do something that positively affects your life, everything else just kind of starts to fall into place. So as I head into Food Season, I am doing it with the utmost confidence that I will make it through with flying colours (and even meet my goal of losing a bit more body fat before going into my bulking season - which is a whole different post with a whole different set of implications that I will get into another blog)

Saturday Morning Ramblings

A rainy Saturday morning and I couldn't be happier about it. I had nothing on the docket this weekend, and was looking forward to a couple rest days and getting caught up on some housework so this is perfect weather for it. Not to mention I love cooler fall weather and being snuggly as much as I love the summer so really - I am in Rainy Saturday Morning Heaven. Even with the mellow relaxed Saturday attitude I am fairly buzzing on the inside...I am so invigorated with the change of seasons and the progress I'm having at the gym. And not once but twice this week I have been given amazing compliments on my physique by relative strangers who are very involved in their own fitness that have really fueled the passion to continue. It is very hard for me to accept compliments and when they come I am reduced to a humbled mumbling mess but just so you know, the level to which they are appreciated is something I cannot express. Having said that I am very critical of my body and I think I have mentioned more than once (or at least once) that I wish I could see myself through someone elses eyes. If I ever forget to thank someone for their support, help, love, inspiration etc it is definitely not because I am not thankful - it is because i am trying to process the outpouring that you all have shown me. Even the doubters and naysayers give me something to work towards - and not because I have anything to prove to them, but because it gives me something more to prove to  myself. I LOVE talking fitness and health and nutrition and I am absorbing everything I can and love learning new things. I want to take this to a new level. I want to learn it and be certified and know what i am talking about when I help people when I've been asked for advice. I want to base it on more than just my own experiences. I want to know the human body and put that knowledge to work for myself and share it with others. I want to be someone my kids can look up to and give them the healthy habits that will take them into adulthood and not have to know the feeling of being uncomfortable in their own skin. I think I am doing ok on this front so far...now just to keep it up. I am most excited about my sons foray into health sciences once he graduates highschool and my daughters growing involvement in school sports. She is training for the cross country team and while she is racked with doubts and "what ifs" it has lended us the opportunity to talk about just trying and doing her best. She won't know what she is capable of doing if she doesn't at least try. And she is open to training at home so that will give us an opportunity to spend some extra time together. Running is something we can do together and I am inexperienced enough that I can keep up with her boundless amounts of energy.  So yes...buzzing like whoa and super looking forward to everything the future will bring. Even if its just scrubbing the toilet on this rainy day - its allllll good.

Back to school - and a new/old routine

I LOVE September. I am always ready to get back to a routine and normal schedule after the summer. Just having the kids back in school settles everything down - in other words I feel like I have more control. Luckily for me too, both my kids love school so it is never a chore to return. While my eldest is in his senior year of highschool and my youngest just entered grade 4, this year they are both in uniformed schools which seems to make the mornings run a little smoother. No fuss, no muss. Another new adjustment we have made is  my daughter now takes the bus to school - no more driving her in for me!! This is an added bonus for sure...she leaves at 8 to catch her bus which gives me 10-15 minutes to myself before leaving the house for work. No more rushing or dealing with the extra traffic and she isn't waiting around an empty school yard waiting for her friends to show up. So needless to say the return to school has been extra wonderful this year. My gym schedule hasn't changed much but I do need to get there a bit earlier to make sure I get everything in I need to do - this is nothing new, just back to "fall hours" (although I do recall saying at the beginning of summer how excited I was that I would have some extra time in the gym - really I just took extra time to hit the snooze button...)

Something new for this fall is a 2 hour gap I now have in my Monday evenings. My daughter has joined Girl Guides (not looking forward to cookie season at all!) and it is a great opportunity for BOTH of us to do something new! She is really stoked to go, and is super excited about the prospect of camping and canoeing so I hope this troupe makes good on that. And I am looking forward to 2 hours of "free time" - thinking of taking a fitness class of some sort...yoga or maybe something at the Y (since its included in my membership) so if anyone has any suggestions I am open to hearing about them! (or if anyone cares to join me! )

Needless to say motivation is still motorin' away as I welcome the cooler temperatures, the fall colours and the prospect of new things that the change of season always brings.

Oh - and if anyone wants GG Cookies hit me up! Meaghs will take pre-orders ha ha

A Real Test

In a few days I will be off on one of the biggest tests I have ever endured in my adult life...the family vacation. I am excited yet ridiculously nervous, for a few reasons, which I will share because I consider it a part of my journey towards a better me and thusly willing to open up to all of you who are following said journey.
      Number one - this will be the furthest I have ever been from my parents outside of my comfort zone in forever. They have gone away, but I have been home amongst my things, my other people and my/their home.
      Number two - its just the kids and I...I've taken them camping just the three of us but again - something I am familiar with and never far enough away from my comfort zone that I ever worried about anything. My kids are great and I am really not anticipating any issues, and we are familiar with the area that we are going to but it is still very foreign to me in the sense that I will have to have my big girl panties on at all times, and be the adult...not the adult-child travelling with mom and dad. I have never done anything like this where I couldn't just call them up and get some advice/help/a ride etc - make sense? Even when I've been a 2-3 day paddle from real civilization I've had someone more experienced with me to rely on. This time its just me, sucking up every ounce of fear I may have and going for it. (I know when I get back I'll say wow that was a piece of cake what was I afraid of blah blah blah...but right now, I want to pee  my pants a little..)
      Number three is that it will really test my goals of eating clean and keeping fit. As you know - I've been following a new 12 week program, and luckily said program has a really flexible schedule in that Gethin has a lot of rest days built in to it - in the last couple of weeks I have condensed the training days so that while we are away I will not miss anything, and come back to where I would be had I followed the schedule as writ. I plan to focus more on my 5k training while away because the hotel doesn't have a decent gym, but I can run anywhere - at any time.  (annnd I really need to get my butt in gear for the run or dye in September) I haven't taken this much time off from the gym since I started back in January but I am almost confident that not only will the rest do me some good, it will also help sharpen my focus when I get back.
      The other side to this as well is the nutrition portion. Because we are on a budget we will not be eating out for every meal, and will be buying a lot of our own groceries and doing some cooking so for that I am thankful. I can control what I eat, I have already scoped out some menus from restaurants around our hotel and  am fairly confident that between all the ocean time, walking and running that will be done I should be able to  maintain my progress and not have to worry about coming back to work off 5 lbs of vacation. I have zero intention of letting my training slide, and staying committed to my new lifestyle - but I tell ya...it's daunting having been so on it for the last 7 months.
      So - while I am incredibly excited to spend a week by the ocean, soaking up the rays, playing in the waves and having my need for visually stimulating eyecandy met thoroughly by the lifeguards who patrol the beach, I am scared to freakin' death of doing it on my own AND as a cleaneater/fitchick newbie. But hey - the good stuff happens outside of your comfort zone right?!

Clean Eating ... and stuff...

This actually kind of works a little in that Saturday will be pretty busy for me so I can sneak a blog in early AND answer all your questions at the same time. Anything I don't quite answer for you please feel free to shoot me a message and I would be happy to elaborate or help out in any way possible. Seriously. I love this stuff. Obsessed.

So what is clean eating...basically its eating natural REAL whole food. Nothing processed, refined, messed with, mucked up or otherwise garbage. Tosca Reno, the Eat Clean Queen defines it as "a lifestyle approach of exercise and a diet plan of unprocessed, whole foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, and void of artificial ingredients, preservatives, "chemically charged foods," sugars, saturated fat, and trans fat." If you can't pronounce an ingredient on a label you probably shouldn't eat it. And nothing should have more than a few ingredients. Organic is super, but it is becoming such a generalized "marketable" term, so be wary. Alcohol has sugar in it too so that's out too...FYI. No sodas, fruit juices - unless you're juicing your own...the good news is you can substitute a lot of this stuff and it may taste funny at first but as your body get accustomed to real, whole, natural foods you will start to see what you've been missing, and how crappy the crap actually is! And while I don't prescribe to the cheat meal, you can incorporate it into your week as long as its just a meal (not a full day!) and you get back to it. But fair word of warning, once you're used to the good stuff the bad stuff makes you feel HORRIBLE!!!

 The program (I hate to call it a diet because it really isn't - its changing the way you look at food and your body) focuses on eating 5-6 small meals a day, incorporating lean proteins, complex carbs and healthy fats at every meal which keeps the metabolism revved up and blood sugars steady which reduces the cravings, sugar crashes and binging.  One of the reasons why nutrition is so much more important than exercise (80-20) is that you can work your ass off in the gym but if you're feeding your body a bunch of garbage and you have a sluggish metabolism the fat isn't going to come from the right places. And it wasn't until I started eating clean (I'd say I'm roughly 90% clean depending on how hardcore you want to look at it) that i started seeing the results and I crushed the plateau I had been holding on to for months. 40 lbs in 2.5 years or 30 in 6 months ... you choose.

You know I love bodybuilding.com and they have an article about clean eating here that you can take a look at - with some principles laid out if you wanted to take a look. You can also check out some more of the principles here  - sort of a little simpler. I could regurgitate it all for you but they have pictures and its glossy and fun.

There really isn't anything special you need to do to eat clean - aside from maybe clear out your pantry and your fridge and re-stock. No special tricks for cooking - I couldn't cook very well before all this but everything just seems to work when you're dealing with just a few simple ingredients - some simple swaps and some openmindedness. Also, pre-prepare your food! I set aside some time usually on sundays before the work week or while I am making dinner to get a few extra meals made that I can pack and bring to work. I will make extra for myself when cooking dinner and some things are just so quick and easy! Cost wise I find that it actually works out a little better than eating processed...cooking staples can be purchased in bulk which means really I am just stocking up on fruits and veggies, my almond milk, protein and greek yogurt each week. Also if you're batch cooking you save yourself money that way too.

So basically, you can lose weight, have healthy hair, skin and nails, improved overall health, AND save some cash?! this keeps getting better.

So what do I eat? My staples are almond butter, greek yogurt, sugar free jam, quick cooking oats, tuna, avocado, fresh veg for salads, sweet potato, lemon/citrus for water (we keep a pitcher going in the fridge) broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, and chicken chicken chicken. I have flax seed on hand, honey and organic maple syrup for sweeteners, unsweetened applesauce for baking and protein powder. A typical workout day looks like this:
530-600 - Pre-workout: banana
700 - Postworkout: protein shake, 1/3 cups egg whites scrambled, 1/3 quick oats cooked, mixed with 1.5 tsp sugar free jam and blueberries
1000 - rice cake with greekyogurt/sugar free jam spread or almond butter (1tbs)
1200 - 3-4 oz chicken (i get the fillets and bake them with coconut oil or olive oil, garlic salt and basil) 1 cup broccoli or asparagus and either a salad, 1/2 baked sweet potato, red pepper slices or some other veg. like carrots but they started hurting my tummy. 1/2 grapefruit and a protein ball (google angi greene's amazeballs...so good)
1500 (or 3pm - sorry i work in military time) - 100 grams plain greek yogurt with sugar free raspberry jam and another protein ball
1800/6pm 3-5 oz is a pretty close repeat to lunch. protein, a few veg, salad whatever.

I can hit anywhere between 1400 and 1700 calories a day which is in line with my bodyfat goal (not weight goal....bodyfat...)

Sometimes i will have a protein shake near the end of the night or as a delayed "dessert" and once in a while I will indulge in a Rivi's Gluten/guilt free cookie after dinner (which I just remembered I have - but now its too late ... boooo...) or a spoon of peanut butter right before bed. Peanut butter is a slow burning protein so it helps keep your metabolism going through the night and you wake up less hungry - at least I do. If I am not working out in the morning I will have a slice of ezekiel bread toasted with almond butter and blueberries on top. And on weekends I will usually cookup some protein pancakes (super easy)

Here is a grocery list to get you started with your clean eating. There are lots of simple recipes out there - and a lot of very involved ones as well if you're more cook-y than I am....here are a few to get you started:
Tomato Sauce - I add ground chicken or turkey and eat with whole wheat pasta
green beans and pecans with maple vinaigrette - i swear by this dressing and use it almost every day - also makes an amazing marinade for chicken
sweet potato and chicken hash
Blueberry protein pancakes - this is the extended recipe - I usually just use oats, eggwhites protein powder and blueberries - both are delicious
Dijon Cod and Asparagus

So there you have it. Clean Eating 101. Sort of ... at least some tools to get you started...do not hesitate to get in touch with me if you have any additional questions or comments...or if there is anything else I can help you with. I didn't get to where I am on my own and I never get tired of this... :)

short n sweet

I'm a day late on the Saturday A.M. blog but I had some sleeping in that needed to happen and that sort of threw my day off...then I was going to do it last night but went out which resulted in more sleeping in and then I had some gym and pool time to make up for so here we are Sunday evening...better late than never.



I am entering week 3 of the new program - Kris Gethins 12 week transformation over on bbcom and I am really enjoying it. I am sticking with my own nutrition plan (clean eating - which I do need to clean up a little more but I am working on it) but following his strength program pretty closely. Some things I need to use alternates but for the most part I am doing pretty well. It is really enjoyable and he is always switching things up. Far more interesting than the last program I was doing. The best part about it though is I am learning what I am capable with in regards to weight. I have pushed myself further and realized that I have been selling myself short which in turn is keeping me motivated and pumped to get into the gym every day. ok maybe I'm still having a hard time getting out of bed but once I finally get there its all hard work!


This is a short one this week - I did want to do a post on customer service, and how important it is to support one another on our fitness journey, but the words just weren't coming out the way I wanted them to - and Dexter is coming on shortly. But I am keeping good on my word that I would post at least once a week. So there.

The Mirror Lies

There is something that many people don't talk about (or at least not that I have seen much of) when discussing weight loss and transformation. It is something that I have been thinking about for the past week or so after getting another "you're too skinny - stop losing weight" comment. Now, I've had a lot of that over the last couple of months not to mention the countless "how much more are you trying to lose" "eat something" and even one "anorexic" comments. Luckily those closest to me know that this isn't about weight loss anymore. I have reiterated that countless times but some people actually get it. Or at least don't hassle me about the weight. And I know that it may be a bit of a shock for some people who haven't seen me in a while. I haven't looked like this in 17 years (and when I was this weight 17 years ago it wasn't healthy - this time it is, wish I had pictures to compare the two) so most of the time I can shake off the comments and know that I eat enough, its 95% clean, I'm putting only healthy things into my body and getting good results in return, and I'm working hard to get the desired physique I am after. On the flip side I saw someone last night that I hadn't seen in a really long time and right off the bat the comment was "wow you look amazing, are you working out every day?" and I took pride in that.

Why these comments get to me though are because when I look into the mirror, I see something completely different even though I know I do all the right things - When I look in the mirror I can see the muscle definition coming out, the abs starting to pop, my arms and shoulders taking on a nice shape and lets face it - my butt looks pretty ok too...but then I see the stretch marks. The scars from my breast reduction. The saggy skin around my belly. I still see the fat girl. This is something that I need to get past. This is one of those things that no matter how clean you eat, or what you do in the gym, or what you hear from other people your own image can be a mental hurdle. This isn't applicable just to those of us transforming either - but making such a drastic change is hard when your head doesn't catch up with the rest of the body.

I am learning - slowly - to change my way of thinking but it is not easy. I have never been good at the self confidence thing. I know that the journey will never really be over and that I have to take every triumph as it comes - and maybe one day I will be able to see the fit over the fat. Today won't be that day but like everything else hard work and dedication will get me there...eventually ...

Here we go again!

I am pretty sure I may be the worst blogger ever...but I made a commitment to myself that I would chronicle this journey on a weekly basis so here we go. I actually had a pretty decent topic rolling around in my head on Friday but I didn't take any notes and I've sort of been all over the place this weekend so it didn't stick with me like it normally does (or maybe that was just the universe's way of saying that wasn't the topic to blog? Could just be I"m getting forgetful in my old age? Or most likely that the topic wasn't all that good) 

For the last 6 weeks I had been doing a new program because of a new challenge I had entered on bbcom. After 18 weeks with Jamie Eason where things were changing every two weeks I found this one to be very boring and I wasn't seeing the changes I had been seeing prior. I know I have built more muscle and the 30 day ab challenge was great but overall I just wasn't happy with how the last 6 weeks panned out. Tomorrow I start a new 12 week program that looks like this but I will be staying with my current nutrition and supplements (eating clean and a multi/fishoils/bcaa's for supplements) I will also be trying to cut out dairy (I don't eat much really - 100g greek yogurt every day) I am hoping this may sort of some digestive issues I have been having but who knows - I've kind of been a mess in that department for the last 4-5 years. I need to examine everything I eat Mon-Fri (as it doesn't seem to affect me on the weekends?? Maybe its just work ha ha) So tonight will be all new measurements, new pics, and a fresh start at the gym tomorrow. Of course it starts with leg day...

I have also restarted my couch to 5k training for the upcoming Run Or Dye in September and I have to say that starting over from almost the beginning (week 2) I can tell that my pace has gotten better this time around and I have better control with my breathing. It should be a super fun run and I encourage anyone to join in...

Seems I have the day to myself with lots to get done (or not depending on how productive I choose to be) but groceries is definitely on the must-do list...so here we go!!! AGAIN!

that feeling in the pit of your stomach

A few years ago - in the middle of my rut - it was very hard for me to feel anything besides ennui, apathy, and a massive dose of self doubt and awkward insecurity. Sure in day to day life I took pride in my kids and was able to laugh and joke and play along with others but in MY time...my quiet me time...there was just a lot of MEH. The only feelings I would get in the pit of my stomach would be the nauseating pangs of self consciousness and not feeling like I fit in - anywhere.  To which I was told I was being silly and that wasn't the case at all but still...those feelings were there. I have stated before (whether it was in my blog or not I don't remember) that since I've been on this journey I am open to so many new uncovered emotions that sometimes I can't help the weepy eyes (ok lets face it - I have always been a suck) and even when I am just sitting quietly at my desk or curled up on my couch I may look like I am miserable (bitchy resting face - look it up) but really I am usually contemplating this new found peace or happily daydreaming. I'm sure my kids might have something to say about my moods - I still am a mom and a human being so I do get cranky and I'm not on 100% of the time, and of course those closest to us get the brunt of it every single time...but feeling so much more than the MEH of years past is just so .... FREEING!!

There is one feeling I don't recall ever having had before...not like this anyways...but when I get really inspired...or motivated...my body starts to kind of hum....and it starts in the pit of my stomach and just spreads until I just can't keep still.  It's not butterflies - its like a busy feeling... If I start talking about fitness or eating clean and someone is really into it with me, it starts. If I read an inspiring story or see a motivational post, it starts. If I do something to take a step forward and better my life, it starts. I start to hum (internally of course) and then I just get excited and this incredible sense of happiness takes over. Right now - even writing about it and thinking about the possibilities of the future I am at full hum.

I think this is what it is like to be passionate about something. I think this is what it is to be happy.

Doing it the old fashioned way...

I have had some people ask what I have done to get where I am today. I have done the bootcamp workouts (and loved them) but I find that I am far more comfortable with a weightlifting program with cardio built in on certain days. For me, at this particular point in my journey, I do not need a 'crazy' workout where I am killing myself with ropes or tires or trying to do 1000 burpees in 4 seconds. (ok maybe that last one is an exaggeration)  Now, before I continue, let me stress that if this is your workout I TOTALLY RESPECT that!! Crossfitters, bootcampers - you all get a hats off from me. Anyone who is doing anything more than nothing gets a highfive just for doing something. And you can all no doubt kick my ass in the gym. I'm not here to say what is better or what you should be doing. I choose a weightlifting program (and basic at that - still in the beginners) because I can work at my own pace and take the time to focus on my form and track my progress. I learn to listen to my body and know when to scale back when my shoulder or back start bothering me (both things I need to be careful of so as to not re-injure)  Having said that I also need to step it up and challenge myself a little more. But that too I can do at my own pace - and everything I've done so far seems to be working..

I have done all of this so far without a trainer - which would be completely beneficial and I will be looking into finding a coach when I want to start competing, but it can be done on your own. I started out working out at home, with weights up to 10 lbs and a few bands. There are lots of workouts you can do from home if cost or free time is an issue. Google can be your best friend here...and you know I swear by www.bodybuilding.com. When you're ready to move up to higher weights you can buy a set at a time or find something on kijiji or ebay (just make sure they are decent condition for your own safety) or you can invest in a TRX kit (a friend of mine found a first gen for 90 bucks on kijiji) which you can do ANYWHERE!!  And as far as the nutrition goes the internet is a wealth of information for clean eating recipes, grocery lists, tips, tricks and inspiration.

So if you look at me and say "I could never do that" I am here to assure you that you totally can. Find out what kind of workout works for you. Take some classes, try some different programs, although I do 100% endorse strength training with some cardio for leaning out and toning. And EAT CLEAN!! There is saying that abs are built in the kitchen and it's true...you can crunch till the cows come home but stubborn belly fat (and thigh fat for that matter) won't budge if you're not eating properly.

Recharge

I have a confession to make...and it is actually kind of hard for me to admit but it needs to be said...

My motivation is lacking.

There! I said it! It's out in the universe now - I have fed my demon a cookie and now he can digest it while I recharge my batteries.  I really don't know why I'm not feeling the give 'er attitude I've had for so long...the possibilities are as follows:

1) new schedule now that school is out. (ok *my* schedule has stayed the same but the kids are now home from school...doesn't really affect me all that much come to think of it.
2) bored with my new program (seriously at first i loved it but I was used to switching it up every 2 weeks in my last program and this has been the same for THREE WEEKS with no change in sight - but I committed to it and I only have 3 weeks left of it...)
3) I changed my diet up a bit, tweaked the carbs/fat intake and maybe its just not working. The issue here is it really isn't that far off what I was doing before.
4) I haven't been giving myself the proper amount of sleep in the last few weeks. Staying up a little later than I usually do and having a harder time getting up in the morning.
5) The heat. Ok this one is lame. I work in air conditioning, the gym is air conditioned, my house is air conditioned though I don't really use it and the heat doesn't bother me much (unless its high humidity in which case my digestive system gets thrown out of whack - more than it already is...)

So there are my top 5 possibilities for not being as motivated as I have been. All easy fixes. Which leads me to believe its something a little deeper. Maybe this is just a plateau. Maybe I need to deal with some resurfaced feelings about myself and others. Maybe I need to just accept it as it is, reflect on how far I have come and deal with the fact that not everyone can be on 100% of the time.

The good news? I have not sacrificed any gym time or missed any workouts. I have not deviated from my eating. This is what makes me know that I am still in this. I have had a million thoughts of "just one ice cream, whats one cookie, it would be so much easier to grab some takeout, maybe I should just stay in bed today" and I know so many people in the fit-world would say its ok to "cheat" and give in to those cravings. But its not a craving...i don't crave these things...its the convenience when I am not motivated to do much else. So I keep up with the conscious decision making and I fight with myself to get my ass out of bed and to keep at it. Some days I ask myself if I want to do this every day for the rest of my life...live this way...the gym and the food...and I respond with "look at the alternative" so yes - I will live this way to avoid living the way I did before.

I registered for the Run or Dye in the Falls in September and I have committed to this as well. I fell out of training after the Rankin Run and my legs just seem so damned tired all the time...But I will not cheat myself. I will start over from the beginning of the couch to 5k if I have to. I will do this.

I committed to the 30 day ab challenge - and am almost half way through. Its not easy but I am doing it. I committed to keep an eye on spending and have managed that well so far (easy  not to spend when you don't have money ha ha) I just don't feel the fire I felt last week - that I've felt for weeks.  I am still incredibly inspired just not motivated. And I have so many of you to thank for that...keeping me inspired, making changes in your own lives for the better. I effing LOVE that! Not to mention the comments, the thank yous, the compliments...they mean so much more than I can ever express.

I'm sure the motivation will come back. As long as I keep myself in the game I know a spark will catch again and that fire will burn intensely...for now maybe I just need a mental and physical recharge.

Now where did I put those jumper cables....

Another goal - part vanity/part charity...

Something you should know about me: I cannot give blood. This really bums me out because if I could give blood I would do it frequently (or as much as they let you anyways). Why should you know this? Well because if you ever really need it and you ask me and I say "no sorry I can't" it's nothing personal. Its genetics. It has also always sort of bummed me out that wig-makers for cancer patients would not take chemically treated hair. My hair has been chemically altered since my mom used to give us home perms when I was like...4...sad times. And no - I don't have any pictures handy. Its also been pretty much every colour imaginable over the last 20 years... I say "sort of" bummed me out because for the last million years I think  my hair has been short (maybe more like since highschool it just started getting shorter and shorter -I even shaved it at one point a few years back) so donating my hair for wigs was kind of moot. A 'well if they would accept my hair I would grow it out' kind of thing. But they wouldn't so I didn't.

I super loved my short hair but have been trying to grow it out for the last couple of years (yes - years...but then it gets awkward and then I'm like eff this cut it off). I'm not even sure why - once it gets long enough I either throw it back into a pony or up in a clip...it annoys the hell out of me when its down. But this time I am committed. To be honest I was committed before I had this brilliant idea but this will just make it worth it. Pretty long segue huh? Let's shorten it up a bit....I am going to grow my hair long enough to donate to a wig maker for kids/adults with cancer. I'm sure you saw that coming....but the best part is there is now a place in the states who will accept chemically treated hair!! Maybe there has been for a while but I have just heard about it. So sitting by the pool one day I made the decision and brought it up to Meaghan who was all for it. She is also growing her hair out for fun so for either of us its not really a sacrifice.

So sitting by the pool, talking to Meaghan about this we mention it to my mom and she's in too! Then she says we should tell my sister and my niece, aunts,cousins...and it sort of went from there. I'm not sure who is all in at this point, or what the final date will be (at least a year)  - my hair grows kind of slow and  this is where vanity sets in - I want to be able to cut it and it still be longish....But I am so happy to be able to do something more for the amazing folks fighting cancer. It's just hair. But for some people their hair is their crown...mine is just my easel and if something I can do as easily as grow some hair makes a child feel normal, or a woman feel beautiful about herself then why shouldn't I share that?! And maybe if one day they can fix my mutated blood cells then you can be darned sure I'll be donating that too!!

Check out Transitions Studio for natural, chemical free hair products and services and Wigs for Kids for ways to donate!

We Have L-IF-t Off!

What started out as a 12 week fitness challenge has turned into a life-altering series of amazeball moments that I have been so blessed to share with one of my highschool besties...all from 2500 thousand miles away. You may know her from A Racing Heart, if not, check it out...seriously...go now....I'll wait....


Awesome right?! Ok so for the past few months we have sort of thought that this is bigger than just what we were doing for ourselves and spent some time tossing things around...well we took our first step in putting ourselves out there to share our stories and our journeys (similar but so so different) tonight with the launch of IF ... D&E Inspired Fitness and we would super appreciate you stopping in, liking us, supporting us, sharing with us stories of your own journey towards a better life.

We all wonder What IF... We want to make the IF happen!

The Road to Happiness

     I was asked the other day how I was able to 'turn things around'  and be happy. For anyone who  knows me, there was a while where I was cynical, negative and just kind of down more than up. Little wonder the worst of this period of my life coincided with my "fat years". I can't say there was ever really one defining thing that turned me dark so to speak; a combination of relationships, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, financial struggles, and just not really knowing who I was. These things I've struggled with most of my teenage/adult life. My mom likes to say that I did everything the hard way, but hey, I've learned a lot doing it this way and I wouldn't trade any of it because it has gotten me to where I am today. (The funny thing is I don't think anything I have done has been particularly 'hard' and I've always just done what I've needed to do to get by, especially as a single mom. I just do what I have to do. And I have been lucky to always have a great support system and never really know true hardships. I digress...) 
     Over the last couple of years I found myself falling into ruts. In relationships, socially, and with my health. Everything was the same day in and day out and I allowed myself to get drawn into the downward spiral that these ruts created. It happens to everybody; some people recognize it early on and get out before it gets too bad and other people, like me, just go with it and get sucked in. I am a total 'go with the flow' type person, and when the flow went bad - well so did I. Which isn't to say I was a horrible mean person during this period. But it was hard to think positively, love myself, enjoy the good things going on around me. Not to mention it is far easier to be a suckhole than a ray of sunshine.
     So how did I turn it around? Well I am still in the process;  It gets easier but I don't think it will ever be something that has a definitive finish line. Not until perhaps at the end of what I hope is a very long life I can sit back and say "Yes, I was happy. Yes, I had a great life." But how did I get to this point now? I needed to make decisions. I had to choose how I wanted to live my life. I have spoken before on the things I did to start the transformation journey, so I won't go into detail, but the journey has as much to do with my emotional well being as it does the physical. So I made the choice to be happy. I started to distance myself from the people and the things that brought out the negative me. I stopped going out to the same bars, doing the same things, relying on the alcohol to guarantee me a good time (which it never does). It is an incredibly lonely process, separating yourself from what you've known for years. To combat the loneliness, I started focusing on things around my house that I wanted to improve on. The nice weather allowed me time to get out and build my gardens, maintain my yard. It also allowed me to get out on the trails. (I could wander the woods for hours.) I spent more time with my kids and my family. I was sleeping better and enjoying the fruits of my labours. As my body started to change I was learning how to appreciate it from the work I was doing on it, and slowly building confidence. Doing all of this, removing myself from the social ruts, I was able to drastically cut down on the drama in my life. I was focusing on me for the first time in a very long time. I wasn't trying to make anyone else happy, I wasn't trying to fit in to a place where I wasn't ever really 100% comfortable. I was slowly stepping out of a persona that I had created very early on, and reverted back to every time I felt the need to retreat into myself. During all of this my mom got sick and it was a big kick in the ass to remind me how life short can be, and to appreciate everything about it. Now that she is better, I feel like we all benefited from that reminder and we don't take it for granted like we used to. 
     One of the most difficult parts of the change is positive thinking. I still struggle with this but as I mentioned earlier it does get easier. There are days where I need to literally yell at myself (usually in my head - sometimes not) to smarten up and get with the program. If I have self-doubt about how I look I will remind  myself of where I started. If I don't like something I will remind myself how to take the steps to change it. And then take them. I remind myself that others cannot control how I feel or act - only I can do that. I make sure to stay connected to other positive thinkers. Like-minded individuals with the same goals, who are taking the same steps as I am. My Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are littered with motivational posts, fitness groups, quotes and images that remind me I am not alone and that I SO GOT THIS.  I am inspired and motivated by the people who tell me I inspire and motivate them (something I will never take for granted and am so ridiculously grateful for)  I am moved by the people at the gym, the older folks and the heavier set who are there every day going for it. Having this kind of inspiration reminds me every day that the journey I am on is worth every early morning, every unsatisfied craving, every sore muscle and every negative thought that gets beaten down into submission. My self-confidence still suffers and I know how it holds me back from getting involved and putting myself out there, but I also know as I continue the journey this too will improve. I am already miles away from who I was even just months ago.
     I am still cynical about some things. I am still catty. I still have lots of work to do on judging others and myself. I still have my dark moments, and my evil twin still lurks below the surface. But if I had to answer today if I am happy, my answer would be "Yes. I am happy. Yes. I have a great life."

Because I can part 2

As mentioned in my previous blog, I had a bit more I wanted to share about the Rankin Cancer Run. I've waited on posting this one until I could sort of wrap my head around things, and to some maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal...to me it was mindblowing and completely unexpected.

When I started doing the run it was because it was something I could get behind; something I believed could make a difference in our community.  And doing something in honour or memory of someone is always a bit of a lift for the spirit. When we started doing the benefit show it was because it was an easy, fun and entertaining way to raise funds without having to canvas or blatantly ask people for money (never my strong suit). The first year we did the show I didn't think that we would continue it and now with 3 years under our belt I can assure you it is staggering to me that we are going for a fourth. Every year it gets a little bigger, and every year we are able to give more to the Rankin than the year before. Our team has established itself and the people involved all love the day, and we celebrate afterwards with a get together. Its becoming a tradition, and one of my favourite days of the year. Never once did it ever occur to me to do any of this for any sort of recognition or award.

Usually after the Run I stick around until our team has dispersed, and watch some of the awards ceremony. This year, I had shopping to do for our team bbq and left once we were all packed up. It wasn't until the afternoon that some neighbours that had been there for the ceremony told me that I had been one of the 35 recipients of the Mike's Miracles Hero Awards. I was stunned. I didn't know I had been nominated or even that this was a thing you could get.

It is such an honour to get this award but to be honest I still don't get it. I won the award for my fundraising efforts and for the show. First off,  I didn't do any of this alone. It was the combined efforts of my team, my family, our friends and everyone who had a hand in getting this thing off the ground. I would be nothing without everyone else. I don't run alone. I have a team that runs or walks with me and we may cross the finish line at different times, but we do this together, with thousands of other people who are all there for the same reason.

Secondly, what I do is absolutely nothing compared to the people who are out there every day - driving their loved ones to appointments, sitting through chemo sessions, and the nausea and sickness afterwards, the  pain and the long nights, the countless hours spent sitting beside hospital beds, adjusting to the changes cancer brings about with ostomies, mastectomies, lost limbs, or the planning of funerals and learning how to live a new life  when their loved one passes on.

Most importantly though are the people like Mike Vandendool, Nicky Roma, Jason Barron. These kids are the real heroes. Mike wanted to help other kids going through the same thing he did and focused on raising money for a new-release movie room at Mac. Because of the generosity from others through his own journey with cancer, he wanted to pay it forward, and with help from his family they created Mike's Miracles. Mike passed away in 2006 at 12 years old. Mike's Miracles continues to raise money and gets involved with numerous charities. And the movie room? It opened in 2010 at Mac in the Ronald McDonald Family Room. Check out Mike's Miracles

Nick Roma was diagnosed in 2011 with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. In 2012 he acquired a blood infection that resulted in septic shock. Because of this he lost both arms and legs. His amazing family and friends have kept the community updated with Nicks progress, and post videos from time to time of different moments in his rehabilitation. Watch these. Please. You will see the indomitable spirit that Nick has, that he has had from the beginning of his journey, and continues to have during his ongoing chemo treatments. Stay Strong

Jason Barron lost his mom to cancer. His team Bonnie's Battle was the top fundraising community team this year raising over $11,000 for the Run, and has been in the top few teams since they started taking part, just days after his mom passed away. I include him in my list of heroes because it is far too easy to say "poor me" and turn losing a loved one into a selfish thing. He turned it into an extension of Bonnie's fight and he continues to fight for her, and even though he is no longer at St. Francis, it is clear that his school community still stands behind him and every year he and his team stand out amongst the runners. My own son runs for Bonnie's Battle and I could not be more proud that he is involved with the team and aligned with a kid like Jason. A bit of Jason's story

The thing that all three of these kids have in common is that even at the worst point of their lives they have shown strength. Even though Mike is no longer with us, his legacy lives on and continues to give to the kids that he wanted to help. Nick's fight is far from over but every video you will see, every public appearance he makes you will see a smile on his face and know that he will stay strong. And Bonnie's memory is alive and well in her son, and I can imagine that some of the sun we saw last Saturday was the pride she must feel shining down on Jason. There are so many other people like these guys who have done amazing things in light of their circumstances, the list is endless. Until we have found a cure, this is how we beat cancer, by not letting it defeat us.

So maybe you can understand a little of why I feel so undeserving of a Hero award. I wish that every person affected by this disease could get one, because they are the heroes. Like Maryann Edwards (a true angel-on-earth and the Run director) I will look forward to the day that we don't have to have the Rankin Run. Until then I will continue to take part and do what I do, not for award or recognition, but because I can.

I Run Because I Can.

This past weekend I experienced so many positive things I don't think this blog will do it justice. But here goes anyways.

I have been taking part in the Rankin Cancer Run for the last 5 years. The Rankin raises money for cancer research and support that stays 100% in the Niagara Region. When I started, it was in memory of a girl I had known through friends who had just passed away - far too young. I participated on the team that her best friend and family had started. It was a great feeling doing something for someone else, and taking part in an event that is all volunteer driven, and so well organized. I joined the team again the following year, on the same team and involved  my kids.
That fall my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My mom was the type of person who never had more than a bad allergy day; rarely sick, and never made a big deal about anything.  When my mom got sick, our worlds changed. My dad learned to do laundry. Our family -always supportive and close - came together in a way that will forever define the kind of people we are. We band together, we fight, we lean on one another, and we stand against the world and what it throws at us. We could have crumbled. We could have turned our backs. We could have chosen not to fight. This was not something that was going to break us. My mother saw to that. Even in the hospital, during her chemo, during all the trials she endured I did not once see an ounce of weakness in her. We were lucky. She survived, and is cancer free today. The doctors appointments continue, the check ups fewer and further in between. But for me they still carry the possibility of a what if.
The following spring I knew I would take part in the Run, for my mom this time. Our family and close friends came together and we created Connie's Crusaders. We hosted a benefit show, and we all participated in either the 1km or the 5km. Being the team captain was a fulfilling endeavour. I felt like I was finally able to do something for my mom while she fought to beat the disease. If I couldn't do something directly for her, I knew I was able to do something for the community and the services that she, and thousands of other people would be utilizing. Maybe something I was doing would help other members of my family, my kids, even me down the line. NO one is safe from cancer. My moms big message that year was get yourself checked. And it is so true. It is so important to follow up regularly with your family doctor.
This past weekend marked the 3rd year Connie's Crusaders took part in the Run, and we had our third benefit show too. This year though was different for me. In light of the journey I have been on, and considering I have never actually RUN the Rankin as opposed to walking/jogging, I wanted to make sure that this was the year that I ran the whole 5k. I have spent most evenings for the last month following a couch to 5k program. The program is based on a 3 day/wk 8 week running program that increases until the user is running a full 5 km. I didn't have 8 weeks. I had 25 days. Technically I am not even done the program. My last training run had me running for 15 minutes. I had mapped out the route I had been taking and it 2 km shy of the 5 I needed to do. I had come to terms the night before the Run that even if I didn't finish the whole thing, the progress I had made with my running was still something I could be proud of. I was disappointed that I hadn't started training earlier, done it smarter. But even if I matched where I was at in the program I would still pat myself on the back.
I set out with my brother and my friend. The friend soon disappeared into the throng of people ahead of us  and my brother slowly crept ahead of me. My pace was slow but steady, and I was focusing on my breathing and navigating my way through the crowd. Instead of being disappointed that people were passing me, I was inspired reading the team names on the back of their shirts. So many people affected by this disease in all its varying forms. I was inspired by the young kids running. The mothers pushing babies and the older seasoned athletes pushing through. Inspired by the firefighters running in full gear, tanks included. Inspired by the thousands of people all united for one single cause. At the half way point I started pushing myself. "You're halfway there...you can do this...you can see the bridge in the distance - the finish line is right before that bridge"  At the 4km mark I started getting emotional. I was doing this. I knew I could push out the last kilometer. There was no way I was going to let myself quit this close. Right near the end I saw Mary Ann - the Run director. She is the sweetest most amazing woman and again I choked up. We were all here because of her vision. In the last few seconds, one of my favourite running songs came on (I swear God is a DJ) and I saw the clock ticking down at the finish line. I poured it on and crossed at exactly 39:00.
I found out later that my family was at the finish line cheering our team on as they came through and in a way I am happy I didn't see that. I would have lost my flippin' mind and all those emotions that I had been swallowing would have come pouring out. My first thought was to call my "coach" and tell her I had finished. Without her support and advice and inspiration I'm not sure I would have finished this at all. Calling LA from the finish line over FB though didn't quite work out (my data plan will thank me  later) I was so stoked. So proud. So amazed that I had done this.
I will take part in the Rankin Cancer Run as long as it is around, and as long as I am physically able. I hope that my children will continue to do the same. One day I hope we won't have to, because as Mary Ann says, that will be when we have beaten this. Until then, I will run, because I can.

**there is more to this day but that will be for another blog or else I will be here all night, a sobbing emotional mess...and I have to go for a run.**

food. the never ending battle...

I am going to start off by saying that whatever I say in this blog tonight, I have zero intention of offending anybody and if I do, I am sorry. I say this because food is an intensely personal topic. I don't think one person has 100% perfect dietary rules and our theories and food philosophies are always changing...fads, diets, lifestyle changes...This is just about me...and maybe a pet peeve or two...
  I have changed my philosophies on food as I've continued on my journey, and am currently in a "mostly clean eating" phase. I cut out processed sugars to a fairly decent extent, no alcohol, and well we have all read how many times a day I eat (5-6 usually - if you're new) Most of this has been relatively easy. I make sure to plan ahead and usually have some protein and easy to grab snacks on hand. I can honestly tell you I have only had one intense craving since I started cleaning it up in January, and it was a pizza I had brought home for my son. The key to success?? I just didn't eat it. I knew I would feel bad both physically and mentally for doing so. I can't wolf down a greasy cheesy piece of pizza after not having anything of the sort for months and expect to feel anything less than garbage. I can't enjoy the sweet tang of the tomato sauce and feel good about what I had just done. Food is a slippery slope. And I know myself. If I allow it once, who's to say no to a second or third slice...or following it up with just a little scoop of ice cream...so I just say no. And yes I know even the fittest of women allow themselves a cheat day (omg a whole day???) or a cheat meal or even just a treat once in a while...and thats cool. "they" even say that its healthy to treat yourself... But right now, where I am at in this whole thing I just don't feel like I need it. I really don't feel like I am missing out on anything. And when I look in the mirror at the changes and the progress, why would I want to risk that? I made a decision that I wanted to get fit, and that decision was more important than enjoying a piece of cake, or some french fries, or a cookie (and yes I do eat cookies...they're just kinda good for you) even just once in a while. I try not to be preachy to anyone but my kids - and yes they do eat normal stuff along with my clean stuff - and I am always eager to learn new things to try and be open as much as I would want people to be open to me. But the "come on you can have just a little **enter food here** you went to the gym today you can afford it" argument doesn't cut it for me. Right now to me food is fuel. I don't need to eat for enjoyment, I find joy in a new recipe that works out, or seeing a new shape to my arms or abs or whatever. I don't need to eat crap to be social. I can still eat with friends and family and not have to share a plate of nachos or chicken wings to have it mean something...It means far more to me when I see how they support me even if they think I'm crazy. It means something when my favourite waiter at Bugsy's not only patiently takes my order but knows it, or when my dad knows "no sauce" on my chicken. or when my mom lists all the fruit they have in the house so I don't go without dessert. That means so much more than how good any cheesecake or birthday cake or juicy cheesy greasy pizza ever will. So once in a while I may have whole wheat pasta or balsamic dressing on my salad from the Harvest Barn...pickled beets and some shredded cheddar cheese...thats my idea of cheating...(yep even when I'm bad I'm kind of good) and one day when I am comfortable with my progress I may cheat a little harder but right now I am really enjoying my choices and like I said before - I really don't feel like I am missing anything...

As for the alcohol...this was less of a clean eating move and more of a "why am I still in a funk 2 days after a night out" ... it was pointed out to me by a good friend (and one who doesn't drink often herself" that alcohol is a depressant - which I always knew but never really *got* (afterall, I am all sorts of fun when I've been drinking - no depression here!! ha ha)  But it made perfect sense. And it was entirely too easy for me to have too much, and with a new gym regimen and all the changes I was  making in my lifestyle it made sense to cut it out. I had originally planned to stop drinking just while I was finishing the 12 week program I had started, but when that ended I realized I didn't really need it. I didn't need the fuzzy hangovers (yes even after just a couple) or the really quick buzz I would get from wine. I was able to go to bars and drink sodawater (doesn't go over well when someone is trying to buy you a drink FYI - and the bartender can't quite figure out why you're there) and still enjoy the company and scenery, and cut out at a decent hour. I was able to have friends over and none of us were drinking and it was still a super fun night. Turns out I am still all sorts of fun!!  And feel great in the morning too!!

There are still all sorts of things I would like to do to further clean up my diet. Not only to eat more clean (cleaner?) but to learn more about the role food plays in our life, to expand on my cooking and baking abilities, and to really get as close to MY 100% as I can. And if I pass on your grandmothers homemade cookies, or a slice of  birthday cake its really not you....Its ALL ME!

The 100k Transformation Challenge - A Beginning

Growing up I was never fat, or thin. I was average, typical, normal...tall-ish but regular. I played sports in elementary and middle school, and in highschool I veered more towards the theater. I never gave much thought to my weight, my body, what I was eating or what fit was. And then I had my first child. I gained 50 lbs, and only lost 20 afterwards. Of course then I knew that the body I had before had been pretty smokin' .... still, it wasn't enough to make me think about nutrition or fitness. I didn't eat poorly all the time, and I have always loved veggies so it was never a chore to get those down, but I also loved chicken wings by myself on a saturday night at 1030. And drinking. I LOVED drinking. It's what you do in a university town - you hit the pub, or patio, or bar or danceclub. i worked in one for crying out loud!! And what better after a night of work then to chill with a few drinks and some food...Not to mention being a single mom with little money for food in the early days (but always had enough for drinks!!) groceries were quick and easy. Time passed and while I always sort of bemoaned my figure, I was also stoked that I finally for once had BOOBS! And guys liked them!! As long as they looked good in a shirt and I was getting noticed it didn't matter that they came with extra everything else...hips, thighs, bum...Child two came along 8 years later and I gained back the 20 I had lost with my first (if you're keeping count we are now back up 50) and I stayed there after the birth and for a while afterwards. Second child + boobs = sagging and sore back so I ended up having a reduction. I was a DD and went down to a small C and was thrilled that it cost me a few pounds...but the lifestyle of the late night food, the drinking, not paying attention to my weight caught up with me and I was over 200 lbs in no time flat. The first time I realized that I was over 200 I did what seemed to make sense...portion control, exercise a few times a week, buying low calorie, low fat food. And it worked - to a degree. I lost 30 lbs, I felt better, I was walking my dog on a regular basis, and it was healthy time spent with my then boyfriend. Things sort of went downhill come the fall and following winter when it was too cold to walk or ride bikes, and it was back to snacking at night, drinking, and after-bar food runs. The second time I realized that I was over 200 and higher than I had ever been, I decided to do something about it. We had a biggest loser competition at work so I dug in and started competing. I was attending a bootcamp run by a woman at work, I was learning about eating properly - about actual nutrition and was introduced to clean eating. I didn't follow it too closely and ultimately that was what kept my loss at bay for so long, but I still didn't understand that nutrition was 80% of the formula. That came after time...when I was stalling on the weightloss even though I was eating way better. And why when the weight was coming off, I wasn't getting the definition I saw in the magazines. It was a long journey - those first 50 lbs, and I didn't hit that goal until after I started this 100k challenge. I had been inspired by one of my highschool besties to join the challenge and it was exactly what I needed to reignite my motivation and willpower...I had been slowly creeping back up in weight over the late fall and early winter...THIS is what I needed! I knew I wanted to start Jamie Eason's Livefit Program again ( I had made it about halfway through the year prior) and this was the best opportunity as my bud was doing it too. I had made the commitment to eat clean, I was inspired by my daughters Lenten promise to give up chocolate and I did the same, and it very quickly went from chocolate to most processed sugars and has far surpassed just the Lenten season. I stopped drinking early in to the program and I started planning my meals, and everything just fell into place!! I have been able to go out with friends and not crave a drink. I can go to restaurants and choose clean foods. I can look work-cake and goodies in the eye and not even crave it. I even served pizza and cake and icecream at my daughters birthday and didn't even lick a finger! I took my food inspiration from Jamie Eason and Alaina Burger - I don't follow it to a T - which I completely understand has affected some of my progress, but what I am doing now is so far from what I was doing before. And it will only improve the more I learn and experiment with. I started Livefit a few days after the challenge so I still have a few left to go before I consider this first challenge actually complete, but I have made it so much further than before. On the days where I couldn't do the exact workout, I have made adjustments, added something else, done something I missed that evening or the following day, or switched up rest days, and can say that technically I have not missed one workout. The gym I go to is very busy at night and my mornings are limited time wise so often I have had to break workouts up between am and what I could do at home in the pm, and supersets/circuits have been difficult due to sheer volume at the gym and availability of space and the machines - not to mention I can be pretty unassuming and shy in public so a lot of time I just felt uncomfortable. But that will change, it *is* changing - every day. So again, I know that this has only affected my progress but this is my beginning, I am so much better than I was, and it just keeps going! I finally appreciate and desire fit over skinny, I am down over 15 lbs since Christmas, at least 10 of those since the challenge, my bodyfat is down, I have lost inches in my waist and thighs, my hair is shiny, I have definition that I have never seen before in my arms, legs, my BUTT!!! I have even found muscles in my face that I didn't know I had! This Challenge has truly been the best thing to happen to me, and I may not be the skinniest, or the fittest, or the most knowledgeable contestant but I will be damned if I am not one of the most motivated to keep this going!!

Rain.

It rained today. It always rains on this day. For the last 21 years. Rain. Maybe it rained for years before then too, but I wouldn't have remembered that. To be honest maybe there have been years since that it hasn't but in my head - always the rain. I remember saying goodbye that day. I remember the phone call. I remember it all. The days following; searching for my best friend with teems of people, the press, the detectives coming to my house. My family being there for me and being afraid with me. I remember the weeks following; her body being found, the clip on the news of a body bag on a stretcher, trying to figure out how to live each day afterwards. I remember the months following; dealing with the loss, the arrests, the evidence, the rumours and finding out what kind of horrific people are really out there in the world...in my world. I remember the years following; every single year. Without her. Learning to drive - without her. Graduating highschool - without her. Dealing with boys - without her. University, jobs, kids...all without her.  Thinking about what her life would have been like, her career, her relationships, her husband, her children. A son maybe that looked like dad but had her mischievous brown eyes that were always laughing. A daughter who would be her spitting image, beautiful shining brown hair, and of course she would be on figure skates as soon as she could walk.Maybe even what my life would have been like with her.  I don't allow these thoughts often - getting caught up in the past leaves little room for the future.Most days she will cross my mind, and it is a reminder of our friendship, and that she is always with me, like a little bubble of sunlight bursting around me.  But on these anniversaries, or the occasional news story, and when some random memory of the tragedy forces its way to the surface I let it overtake me. Maybe for a few seconds...a few minutes...a day...even if the sun is shining, I turn to face the rain.

My Own Worst Critic

As I near the end of my first 12 week transformation challenge, I started wondering "what next?" What will I do as the next step on my journey to a better me?? I realize I work pretty well with challenges, a deadline, (and a chance to win some cash) so I entered the BSN Summer Shred Challenge on BBCom. I am currently finishing up the 10k Transformation challenge with them and it was a great motivator to get me started. One of the contest requirements is that you post before pictures of yourself at the beginning of the 12 contest weeks. I had fallen out of practice of posting progress pictures from the first challenge so this was a great chance for me to get caught up and see the changes from the beginning of the first challenge that I entered near the end of January.

I hesitated posting these pictures here...I mean they are horrible and I am still very self conscious about my body but this is my reality. This is the road I am on and I need to face my challenges and successes equally and head on. Posting them on a relatively anonymous site like BBCom is one thing...but this - where I essentially invite people to gawk at my imperfections and my middlefat...well its daunting. It took me looking at the pictures for a LONG time before I started noticing the little changes. I mean I can feel the changes in my clothes and I can see some definition in my arms when I do things like tie back my hair, but when I look in the mirror I am still seeing the fat, and the stretchmarks and the cottage cheese in my thighs and my butt...I am still seeing the overweight me. But I write this and share these thoughts not to cry 'woe is me' or to get any kind of praise or compliment, but to remind myself that what I see in the mirror today is not what I saw yesterday, and it won't be what I see tomorrow. If I stay on this journey, keep on my path and keep doing the work, those things I see and bemoan will eventually disappear. I didn't put the weight on overnight and it sure as heck won't come off overnight. And even when I was skinny I was never "fit". I may have made it through almost 12 weeks of work so far,  but I am far from done. These first 12 weeks?? This is just my introduction...my prelude to what will be an amazing story.

January 24 2013 vs. April 7 2013

So there you have it. I am baring (almost) all - this is my reality. "I'm not there yet but I am closer than I was yesterday"

By Request

Just recently, after posting my success in FINALLY hitting the 50 lb weight loss mark, I was asked to share how I've managed losing the weight. I figured this was probably the best place to do so. I do have to start by saying that you should always talk to your doctor first and let them know what your plan is and see if they think it is right for you. Sometimes even the best laid workout plans and food choices are hindered by medical issues so make sure you`re seeing your doctor regularly!! (not to mention regular dr visits assist in early detection of anything so it is always a good idea - not just if you`re trying to get fit) My doctor - an amazing lady - has been supportive and interested from the start and approves of my choices.

I have actually gone through 3 attempts at battling my weight. When I first realized that my numbers had BLOWN UP I was at a birthday party at my sisters house for one of her kids. I stepped on the scale and was honestly shocked at what I saw. I am a tallish girl - 5 foot 9 with a long torso so it hides the weight well. And it was so gradual (or so it seemed) that I never really noticed it in my face. I knew clothes weren`t fitting quite right but I wasn`t paying the proper attention to myself at the time.

Obviously unhappy with the weight gain I first off stopped snacking on junk food at night. I`ve never been a huge junk food junkie but I had enough to know it wasn`t the best for me. I switched up junkfood for `healthy` snacks - you know the kind...`100 calories a package`or `low-fat high flavour(read - salt)` snacks. Tostitos and salsa -  well they`re sort of good for you - and the sour cream I would dollop in there was low fat or fat free so hey!! Works for me!  I also started walking and bike riding. This is when I really started to enjoy hiking too - I had always sort of done it randomly but this is when it became a regular in my summer itinerary. On top of the walking and the biking I was watching my portions and would often choose chicken over beef (or veggie burgers if I thought to buy some) so instead of two burgers with all the fixin`s I would have one, with salsa as my only condiment. I cut out pop and went whole wheat bread products and opted for turkey subs no cheese over a combo at the food court in the mall where I worked. I drank water like a fiend. From these changes I had lost 30 lbs. But it was short lived.

Life happens, things change, new job, and  a move came and I was on my own with the kids, doing the groceries and cooking for the three of us. I stopped paying attention to what I was doing and went for the quick fixes...easy dinners, processed, fast food,  and of course - the beer. The weight came back and again so preoccupied with everything else BUT me and my health I didn`t really notice and the pounds didn`t just come back - they brought friends...

Weight attempt number 2: I touched on this in my first blog - after another job change - the Biggest Loser weight loss competition, the boot camp and eventually the gym. When I realized that the weight had returned I went back to what I knew with the portion control, and I also started logging what I was eating. I joined the website www.sparkpeople.com and for the first time I was accountable for what I was eating. The site (and there are others like it) have thousands of foods already posted in their database and if you can`t find something you can add it. They also create menus based on what you want to lose and what your calorie range should be. While I was tracking my exercise the program would notify me if I was eating enough to maintain the calories in vs out. It took a long time for the weight to start coming off, even though I was eating better and exercising on a regular basis. What I wasn`t getting was what I consider to be the missing link...Metabolism!! You need to eat more to lose more. It was great that I had finally started eating breakfast when I first woke up and not hours into the morning (or at all) but I needed to start eating the meals in between the meals. It was a hard adjustment to make...breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner...food food food....I still feel like I`m eating all the time but now I pay attention to what my body tells me and I know when I`ve missed a meal. I was introduced to the concept of Clean Eating at this time as well. It is exactly as it sounds - eating clean. No processed foods. Fruits and veggies, spices and healthy fats, nuts, grains...all the good stuff. I learned of this through the Oxygen Magazine. Great workouts and food ideas, full of tips and tidbits. And best of all, women from every age group from 20`s through to 50`s who have taken on the challenge of transforming their lives - women who you could read about and relate to and think `I can do this too!!`  I also was introduced to www.bodybuilding.com where I found Jamie Eason`s LiveFit Program - a 12 week fitness program that would help me to tone up and lean out from what I had managed to lose up to that point. I will admit I was not good with the clean eating, and I managed almost 6 weeks of the LiveFit Program before Christmas came and I fell off the wagon. But if I look back now I can see that I was using this time to gain knowledge, arming myself with the basics to build the foundation for this - my third - and final attempt at my transformation.

Third time is a charm!! Again, I have touched on this in my previous blog so I won`t go into too much detail but I will summarize when I am all done here. This time I was inspired by a friend to join a transformation challenge on bbcom. I had been thinking for *months* that I needed something to light the fire under my butt and wondered where I had gotten the willpower from before. Well this challenge was what I needed to get started again. I had liked the LiveFit Program and wanted to restart that. I knew the nutrition portion (which Jamie Eason includes in the program) I feel like its when I was ready to quit smoking. I just knew it was time. I gave myself a deadline and I stuck to it and never looked back. This is just like that. I gave myself a deadline, and set my parameters about what I was comfortable doing and stuck to it. I cleaned up  my eating, gave up processed sugars, and while I am on this program I am not drinking. Just over halfway through I am feeling great, seeing amazing results and I don`t miss any of the crap I was eating. I managed to lose the extra 10 lbs I had gained back over the last few months (when I stopped tracking my food and being active) and then some. My first goal has been met - but the lifelong goal of being a fit and healthy woman will never truly be over.

So, if you`re still with me, a brief synopsis of how I got to this point...
1. EDUCATE YOURSELF and surround yourself with like minded people who will support you in your goals and not bring you down. Read, go online, join support groups, get inspired.
2. MAKE TIME!!! If it means getting up earlier, staying up later, getting a babysitter for an hour or leaving the kids in the gym daycare, working out from home while the kids are doing their homework or whatever - there is always time to work out!! Lunch hours, breaks, whenever. When I can`t get to the gym I will workout at home or alternate my rest day to accommodate the program. But I`m always pre-planning. Which leads me to...
3. FAIL TO PLAN - PLAN TO FAIL!!!  This was huge for me. Every week I try and plan my meals and use sundays for cooking for the week and doing any of my protein baking. I transfer the next days workout to my phone the day before so I know what I can expect and know what I`m walking into. I make grocery lists and stick to them!! This sounds like a lot of work but it actually helps me be more organized when I know what to expect and I`m not spending time worrying about what I need to make or buy or pack for lunch etc.
4. KICK START YOUR METABOLISM - getting this going will also kickstart the weightloss. Eat to lose. You should be eating 5-6 times a day and nothing 3 hours prior to bed time. I also recommend eating clean because its what makes the most sense to me. Processed foods and sugars wreak havoc on our systems. Having said that I know there are different food theories out there - research different options and do what is best for you.
5. BE ACCOUNTABLE - part of why I am always posting food pics or gym statuses is to be accountable. It reminds me that I have people out there supporting me. But being accountable also means tracking my food and my workouts EVERYDAY!! Which of course means making time - but if it means one less game of candy crush saga or logging meals on Walking Dead commercial breaks - so be it.
6. FIND A PROGRAM YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH and get the help you need to get you through it. On www.bodybuilding.com there are all sorts of different programs posted for all sorts of fitness levels, and I know there are tons of other sites out there. Get a trainer if you can to make sure your form is correct and don`t expect to walk into the gym on day 1 and hit everything hard. Even with the LiveFit program if I am not comfortable with a posted exercise I look for - and do - an alternate - but I don`t use that as an excuse to crap out on my workout...
7. STICK TO IT changes don`t happen overnight. It has taken me a very long time to get where I am and I know I still have far to go. But if you are true to your choices you will see a change (and if not - tweak things, see your doc make sure there isn`t an underlying condition, try another program just don`t give up!!!)

What I Eat: (sorry this is just copy and pasted from a post so it`s not edited)
breakfast is either a piece of ezekiel bread toasted with peanut butter or sugar-free jam and half a grapefruit, or an egg-white omelet with spinach and cheese and blackberries, or quick oats with unsweetened applesauce and sugarfree jam for flavour with berries.
mid-morning i will have 100 grams of plain greek yogurt with a tablespoon of sugar free jam for flavour
lunch is some kind of protein (chicken, tuna, salmon, pork whatever - and i usually precook for the week) with carrots, half a sweet potato baked or left over veg from the night before (i usually cook enough for dinner so i can have leftovers for lunch) and half a grapefruit if i didn't have it in the morning...
mid afternoon is an apple and homemade protein bread if i managed to bake any
dinner is a protein and 2 veg (usually steamed broccoli, asparagus or brussels sprouts) or whole wheat pasta with diced tomatoes that i spruce up for flavour.
for my tuna sandwiches i also switched out mayo for plain greek yogurt, horseradish and dijon mustard - gives it a nice kick, and try to switch out olive oil for coconut oil here possible. there are also a load of eating clean websites but google tosca reno - she breaks it down super easy and i often refer to her eating clean grocery list. and she has lots of simple switches and recipes.

Good Luck!!