I Run Because I Can.

This past weekend I experienced so many positive things I don't think this blog will do it justice. But here goes anyways.

I have been taking part in the Rankin Cancer Run for the last 5 years. The Rankin raises money for cancer research and support that stays 100% in the Niagara Region. When I started, it was in memory of a girl I had known through friends who had just passed away - far too young. I participated on the team that her best friend and family had started. It was a great feeling doing something for someone else, and taking part in an event that is all volunteer driven, and so well organized. I joined the team again the following year, on the same team and involved  my kids.
That fall my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My mom was the type of person who never had more than a bad allergy day; rarely sick, and never made a big deal about anything.  When my mom got sick, our worlds changed. My dad learned to do laundry. Our family -always supportive and close - came together in a way that will forever define the kind of people we are. We band together, we fight, we lean on one another, and we stand against the world and what it throws at us. We could have crumbled. We could have turned our backs. We could have chosen not to fight. This was not something that was going to break us. My mother saw to that. Even in the hospital, during her chemo, during all the trials she endured I did not once see an ounce of weakness in her. We were lucky. She survived, and is cancer free today. The doctors appointments continue, the check ups fewer and further in between. But for me they still carry the possibility of a what if.
The following spring I knew I would take part in the Run, for my mom this time. Our family and close friends came together and we created Connie's Crusaders. We hosted a benefit show, and we all participated in either the 1km or the 5km. Being the team captain was a fulfilling endeavour. I felt like I was finally able to do something for my mom while she fought to beat the disease. If I couldn't do something directly for her, I knew I was able to do something for the community and the services that she, and thousands of other people would be utilizing. Maybe something I was doing would help other members of my family, my kids, even me down the line. NO one is safe from cancer. My moms big message that year was get yourself checked. And it is so true. It is so important to follow up regularly with your family doctor.
This past weekend marked the 3rd year Connie's Crusaders took part in the Run, and we had our third benefit show too. This year though was different for me. In light of the journey I have been on, and considering I have never actually RUN the Rankin as opposed to walking/jogging, I wanted to make sure that this was the year that I ran the whole 5k. I have spent most evenings for the last month following a couch to 5k program. The program is based on a 3 day/wk 8 week running program that increases until the user is running a full 5 km. I didn't have 8 weeks. I had 25 days. Technically I am not even done the program. My last training run had me running for 15 minutes. I had mapped out the route I had been taking and it 2 km shy of the 5 I needed to do. I had come to terms the night before the Run that even if I didn't finish the whole thing, the progress I had made with my running was still something I could be proud of. I was disappointed that I hadn't started training earlier, done it smarter. But even if I matched where I was at in the program I would still pat myself on the back.
I set out with my brother and my friend. The friend soon disappeared into the throng of people ahead of us  and my brother slowly crept ahead of me. My pace was slow but steady, and I was focusing on my breathing and navigating my way through the crowd. Instead of being disappointed that people were passing me, I was inspired reading the team names on the back of their shirts. So many people affected by this disease in all its varying forms. I was inspired by the young kids running. The mothers pushing babies and the older seasoned athletes pushing through. Inspired by the firefighters running in full gear, tanks included. Inspired by the thousands of people all united for one single cause. At the half way point I started pushing myself. "You're halfway there...you can do this...you can see the bridge in the distance - the finish line is right before that bridge"  At the 4km mark I started getting emotional. I was doing this. I knew I could push out the last kilometer. There was no way I was going to let myself quit this close. Right near the end I saw Mary Ann - the Run director. She is the sweetest most amazing woman and again I choked up. We were all here because of her vision. In the last few seconds, one of my favourite running songs came on (I swear God is a DJ) and I saw the clock ticking down at the finish line. I poured it on and crossed at exactly 39:00.
I found out later that my family was at the finish line cheering our team on as they came through and in a way I am happy I didn't see that. I would have lost my flippin' mind and all those emotions that I had been swallowing would have come pouring out. My first thought was to call my "coach" and tell her I had finished. Without her support and advice and inspiration I'm not sure I would have finished this at all. Calling LA from the finish line over FB though didn't quite work out (my data plan will thank me  later) I was so stoked. So proud. So amazed that I had done this.
I will take part in the Rankin Cancer Run as long as it is around, and as long as I am physically able. I hope that my children will continue to do the same. One day I hope we won't have to, because as Mary Ann says, that will be when we have beaten this. Until then, I will run, because I can.

**there is more to this day but that will be for another blog or else I will be here all night, a sobbing emotional mess...and I have to go for a run.**