Recharge

I have a confession to make...and it is actually kind of hard for me to admit but it needs to be said...

My motivation is lacking.

There! I said it! It's out in the universe now - I have fed my demon a cookie and now he can digest it while I recharge my batteries.  I really don't know why I'm not feeling the give 'er attitude I've had for so long...the possibilities are as follows:

1) new schedule now that school is out. (ok *my* schedule has stayed the same but the kids are now home from school...doesn't really affect me all that much come to think of it.
2) bored with my new program (seriously at first i loved it but I was used to switching it up every 2 weeks in my last program and this has been the same for THREE WEEKS with no change in sight - but I committed to it and I only have 3 weeks left of it...)
3) I changed my diet up a bit, tweaked the carbs/fat intake and maybe its just not working. The issue here is it really isn't that far off what I was doing before.
4) I haven't been giving myself the proper amount of sleep in the last few weeks. Staying up a little later than I usually do and having a harder time getting up in the morning.
5) The heat. Ok this one is lame. I work in air conditioning, the gym is air conditioned, my house is air conditioned though I don't really use it and the heat doesn't bother me much (unless its high humidity in which case my digestive system gets thrown out of whack - more than it already is...)

So there are my top 5 possibilities for not being as motivated as I have been. All easy fixes. Which leads me to believe its something a little deeper. Maybe this is just a plateau. Maybe I need to deal with some resurfaced feelings about myself and others. Maybe I need to just accept it as it is, reflect on how far I have come and deal with the fact that not everyone can be on 100% of the time.

The good news? I have not sacrificed any gym time or missed any workouts. I have not deviated from my eating. This is what makes me know that I am still in this. I have had a million thoughts of "just one ice cream, whats one cookie, it would be so much easier to grab some takeout, maybe I should just stay in bed today" and I know so many people in the fit-world would say its ok to "cheat" and give in to those cravings. But its not a craving...i don't crave these things...its the convenience when I am not motivated to do much else. So I keep up with the conscious decision making and I fight with myself to get my ass out of bed and to keep at it. Some days I ask myself if I want to do this every day for the rest of my life...live this way...the gym and the food...and I respond with "look at the alternative" so yes - I will live this way to avoid living the way I did before.

I registered for the Run or Dye in the Falls in September and I have committed to this as well. I fell out of training after the Rankin Run and my legs just seem so damned tired all the time...But I will not cheat myself. I will start over from the beginning of the couch to 5k if I have to. I will do this.

I committed to the 30 day ab challenge - and am almost half way through. Its not easy but I am doing it. I committed to keep an eye on spending and have managed that well so far (easy  not to spend when you don't have money ha ha) I just don't feel the fire I felt last week - that I've felt for weeks.  I am still incredibly inspired just not motivated. And I have so many of you to thank for that...keeping me inspired, making changes in your own lives for the better. I effing LOVE that! Not to mention the comments, the thank yous, the compliments...they mean so much more than I can ever express.

I'm sure the motivation will come back. As long as I keep myself in the game I know a spark will catch again and that fire will burn intensely...for now maybe I just need a mental and physical recharge.

Now where did I put those jumper cables....