food. the never ending battle...

I am going to start off by saying that whatever I say in this blog tonight, I have zero intention of offending anybody and if I do, I am sorry. I say this because food is an intensely personal topic. I don't think one person has 100% perfect dietary rules and our theories and food philosophies are always changing...fads, diets, lifestyle changes...This is just about me...and maybe a pet peeve or two...
  I have changed my philosophies on food as I've continued on my journey, and am currently in a "mostly clean eating" phase. I cut out processed sugars to a fairly decent extent, no alcohol, and well we have all read how many times a day I eat (5-6 usually - if you're new) Most of this has been relatively easy. I make sure to plan ahead and usually have some protein and easy to grab snacks on hand. I can honestly tell you I have only had one intense craving since I started cleaning it up in January, and it was a pizza I had brought home for my son. The key to success?? I just didn't eat it. I knew I would feel bad both physically and mentally for doing so. I can't wolf down a greasy cheesy piece of pizza after not having anything of the sort for months and expect to feel anything less than garbage. I can't enjoy the sweet tang of the tomato sauce and feel good about what I had just done. Food is a slippery slope. And I know myself. If I allow it once, who's to say no to a second or third slice...or following it up with just a little scoop of ice cream...so I just say no. And yes I know even the fittest of women allow themselves a cheat day (omg a whole day???) or a cheat meal or even just a treat once in a while...and thats cool. "they" even say that its healthy to treat yourself... But right now, where I am at in this whole thing I just don't feel like I need it. I really don't feel like I am missing out on anything. And when I look in the mirror at the changes and the progress, why would I want to risk that? I made a decision that I wanted to get fit, and that decision was more important than enjoying a piece of cake, or some french fries, or a cookie (and yes I do eat cookies...they're just kinda good for you) even just once in a while. I try not to be preachy to anyone but my kids - and yes they do eat normal stuff along with my clean stuff - and I am always eager to learn new things to try and be open as much as I would want people to be open to me. But the "come on you can have just a little **enter food here** you went to the gym today you can afford it" argument doesn't cut it for me. Right now to me food is fuel. I don't need to eat for enjoyment, I find joy in a new recipe that works out, or seeing a new shape to my arms or abs or whatever. I don't need to eat crap to be social. I can still eat with friends and family and not have to share a plate of nachos or chicken wings to have it mean something...It means far more to me when I see how they support me even if they think I'm crazy. It means something when my favourite waiter at Bugsy's not only patiently takes my order but knows it, or when my dad knows "no sauce" on my chicken. or when my mom lists all the fruit they have in the house so I don't go without dessert. That means so much more than how good any cheesecake or birthday cake or juicy cheesy greasy pizza ever will. So once in a while I may have whole wheat pasta or balsamic dressing on my salad from the Harvest Barn...pickled beets and some shredded cheddar cheese...thats my idea of cheating...(yep even when I'm bad I'm kind of good) and one day when I am comfortable with my progress I may cheat a little harder but right now I am really enjoying my choices and like I said before - I really don't feel like I am missing anything...

As for the alcohol...this was less of a clean eating move and more of a "why am I still in a funk 2 days after a night out" ... it was pointed out to me by a good friend (and one who doesn't drink often herself" that alcohol is a depressant - which I always knew but never really *got* (afterall, I am all sorts of fun when I've been drinking - no depression here!! ha ha)  But it made perfect sense. And it was entirely too easy for me to have too much, and with a new gym regimen and all the changes I was  making in my lifestyle it made sense to cut it out. I had originally planned to stop drinking just while I was finishing the 12 week program I had started, but when that ended I realized I didn't really need it. I didn't need the fuzzy hangovers (yes even after just a couple) or the really quick buzz I would get from wine. I was able to go to bars and drink sodawater (doesn't go over well when someone is trying to buy you a drink FYI - and the bartender can't quite figure out why you're there) and still enjoy the company and scenery, and cut out at a decent hour. I was able to have friends over and none of us were drinking and it was still a super fun night. Turns out I am still all sorts of fun!!  And feel great in the morning too!!

There are still all sorts of things I would like to do to further clean up my diet. Not only to eat more clean (cleaner?) but to learn more about the role food plays in our life, to expand on my cooking and baking abilities, and to really get as close to MY 100% as I can. And if I pass on your grandmothers homemade cookies, or a slice of  birthday cake its really not you....Its ALL ME!