My Own Worst Critic

As I near the end of my first 12 week transformation challenge, I started wondering "what next?" What will I do as the next step on my journey to a better me?? I realize I work pretty well with challenges, a deadline, (and a chance to win some cash) so I entered the BSN Summer Shred Challenge on BBCom. I am currently finishing up the 10k Transformation challenge with them and it was a great motivator to get me started. One of the contest requirements is that you post before pictures of yourself at the beginning of the 12 contest weeks. I had fallen out of practice of posting progress pictures from the first challenge so this was a great chance for me to get caught up and see the changes from the beginning of the first challenge that I entered near the end of January.

I hesitated posting these pictures here...I mean they are horrible and I am still very self conscious about my body but this is my reality. This is the road I am on and I need to face my challenges and successes equally and head on. Posting them on a relatively anonymous site like BBCom is one thing...but this - where I essentially invite people to gawk at my imperfections and my middlefat...well its daunting. It took me looking at the pictures for a LONG time before I started noticing the little changes. I mean I can feel the changes in my clothes and I can see some definition in my arms when I do things like tie back my hair, but when I look in the mirror I am still seeing the fat, and the stretchmarks and the cottage cheese in my thighs and my butt...I am still seeing the overweight me. But I write this and share these thoughts not to cry 'woe is me' or to get any kind of praise or compliment, but to remind myself that what I see in the mirror today is not what I saw yesterday, and it won't be what I see tomorrow. If I stay on this journey, keep on my path and keep doing the work, those things I see and bemoan will eventually disappear. I didn't put the weight on overnight and it sure as heck won't come off overnight. And even when I was skinny I was never "fit". I may have made it through almost 12 weeks of work so far,  but I am far from done. These first 12 weeks?? This is just my introduction...my prelude to what will be an amazing story.

January 24 2013 vs. April 7 2013

So there you have it. I am baring (almost) all - this is my reality. "I'm not there yet but I am closer than I was yesterday"